NHL Fantasy - The Vokoun Incident

All of Jerry is a daily Pointspread.com columnist. You'll find him slightly insighful, with just a dash of smarm.

I’m sorry. Usually I like to give a few tips as to some damn fine pick ups in the world of Fantasy Hockey at this time of week. But today I can’t get one singular horrifyingly ridiculous image out of my head. That image is of asshole Keith Ballard.

You have GOT to be kidding me. You’re stuck in the corner as the Thrashers score an easy goal on Tomas Vokoun and you are SUCH a mental and emotional midget that you try to two-hand the post. Bad enough. Oh but wait, instead, you two hand your goalie and team MVP, Tomas Vokoun right in the side of the head. What an idiot. What a staggeringly inane thing to do. Vokoun had a lacerated ear and left the ice on a stretcher. He’s most likely badly concussed. The Panthers already brutal season could get even worse.

If you haven’t figured out that Vokoun was my only viable fantasy goalie by the desperate and dramatic way I described the events above, you’re not paying attention. Anyway, with Cam Ward out and Vokoun now nearly decapitated by a slack jawed chopping hick, my season is screwed.

If you’re in the same boat as I am, you’ve definitely got to pick up Scott Clemmensen. The Florida backup has played well this year and filled in admirably for Marty Brodeur last season. The Panthers are terrible, but Clemmer could still provide some good percentages and a win now and again.

If you’re searching for more help in the goalie department, look no further than Brian Elliot of the Ottawa Senators. Pascal Leclaire (who I also had on my team) had his face smashed by a puck while sitting on the bench. My guess is that the dummy wasn’t paying attention. At any rate, pick up Elliot. There’s a good chance, with some solid play, that he takes over the starting role in Ottawa for good.

Die Keith Ballard.

Video Evidence of the hit: